VII. Just when you think you succeeded

I chuckled as I went out of the office holding my new set of math schedules. If it wasn't for Chris, his good looks and his charm over the ladies I wouldn't be able to succeed. Ha-ha.

"Hey thanks." I went straight to the gym pool and called out to my coach who was in the middle of his swimming laps. Obviously he didn't hear me, but it's okay, he won't understand about the favor anyway. I've no intention of telling him why I needed that change. Anyway, thanking him is not the reason why I'm here.

It was warm, the water is perfect and inviting, just right for practicing. Chris reached the end of the pool where I was standing to greet him. He jerked away in surprise and immediately removed his goggles when he saw me. I raised up an eyebrow and he said, "Hey Tracy. You surprised me."

"Yea, I noticed coach." I answered equally surprised, there must have been a lot of things running through his mind. Funny, he was the one always telling us to concentrate and put our head into the practice.

"Are you going to swim?" He called out as he swam towards the rails, lingered for a moment and pulled himself out of the pool.

"Nup, I got classes in half an hour." I said folding my hands over my chest. He walked towards me, his body glistening when a hint of light hit the trickles of water sliding down his tanned skin.

I picked up the towel lying in front of me and threw it over at him. He caught it and wiped his face. "I'll see you in our usual time this afternoon alright?"

He passed by me and gathered his stuffs that were lying not far from where I was standing. He was about to go to the shower room when I called out to him.

"Coach."

He stopped walking but didn't turn, water dripped from his swimming trunks and from his untied shoulder-length black hair. He didn't say anything, he was waiting for me to say something.

"Um." I hesitated.

"Trays, I'll talk to you later at practice alright? I felt like my body turning into jelly." He chuckled and went inside the shower room.

I stood there for a moment before I turned around, scooted down and watched my wavering reflection at the pool. I clutched the paper where my schedule is printed tightly and frowned at myself. How come I never noticed? There's gotta be a way to settle these things down. I just don't know how. The time printed in the paper is the same as my daily swimming practice.

I closed my eyes and tried to take it all in, all my efforts for this day going to a waste and tomorrow's class. Finally, I stood up, swung my bag properly over my shoulder and walked out of the gym. In the first trash bin that I passed by, I threw the crumpled paper that almost raised my hopes up.

Just when you think you succeeded, you found out it's just a make-believe.

VI. Schedule Shamble

The woman removed her glasses, wiped it using a pink cloth that she took out from the glasses' plastic case. She put it back to her eye, repositioned it downwards as she looked at the paper lying in front of her. She raised it up almost close to her nose to have a clear view. She pouted a little, looked at the clock hanging above the door behind me and clicked her tongue. Her desk is cluttered. Surprisingly, not with paper works that you will usually see in offices but different types of cosmetics that she tried to cover with a folder.

I know that she's stalling, she knew what's written on that paper by heart, she knew that it would take her extra time and effort and by the looks of her, I knew by now that she's some lazy woman who'd rather paint her nails and blow them to dry all day.

I haven't really gone into the registrar's office, actually, I only went here once. Only when I enrolled. Not that I really care about how they entertain their students but the last time I went here, I was treated like some new student with straight A's. The elderly woman from before is not here, instead this young blond faced me with a bored expression.

"You want a change of schedules?"

Right. Like it's not too obvious and written in there.

"Yes." I said and added trying hard not to choke, "please."

She didn't look like she'll entertain me further because she removed her glasses, put it back the case and dropped the paper on her desk.

"No, sorry I can't." She said and studied her nails, her simple act of dismissing me.

I can't be bothered to leave without further knowing what's her excuse, no matter how outrageous it may be. "Why not?" I asked almost raising my voice a little. I'm quite annoyed now.

"Because you can't." She said without looking up at me. Then she crumpled my form of request of transfer and threw it in the bin beside her.

Now I'm really pissed off, I wanted to tear her brittle looking hair out of her head and claw her face to see how ugly she is behind those thick make-up. I was gritting my teeth as I slammed both of my hands on her desk. Startled, she looked at me with those huge eyes smeared with thick mascara.

I wanted to jump up her desk and start a cat-fight with her, but of course that'll be stupid. I decided that I'm going to argue over this until she gives me a valid reason and not her act of stupid ignorance. Just as she stood up to face me, the adjacent door swung open and my swimming coach went inside.

He looked at both of us, noticed our foul mood and the way I looked at her. He knows I'm into some sort of trouble with the way I bared my teeth at the woman.

"Hey, Tracy. I didn't expect to find you here, how are you?" He said trying to smile despite the tension between the two girls in front of him. And then she looked at the woman, "Judith, what's with the frown?"

With that, the woman eased up and suddenly turned pink. And I knew it, she likes my 23-year-old coach. She was probably the same age as Chris but she looked ten times older with that ugly thick make-up, her short temper, her glasses and her hair tied in a bun just like my granny's.

"Oh..hi Chris." She said and smiled, her straight yellowing teeth showed. Her breath smelled of cigarette smoke.

Chris just nodded and looked at me, "So what may be the problem here Tracy?"

"My schedule Chris." I said in a low tone, still looking at Judith.

She looked surprised as she eyed me even more carefully and then looked at Chris.

My coach probably noticed her confusion and said before she even asked what we already knew, "She's my best student, in swimming that is."

"My academics aren't bad." I said and frowned at him.

"So what made you come here Trays?" Chris asked as he walked closer and stood beside me.

"My schedule, I submitted a form politely to have one of my scheds exchanged but she--" I didn't finish my sentence because immediately the surprised Judith smiled trying to look sweet and said, "I got it all covered! I was just mistaken, I'm very sorry honey."

I felt like puking at Chris' crisp white shirt. He was wearing a whistle hanging around his neck, his wet hair combed neatly. He smelled of chlorine and he smelled clean, I just don't know how to explain.

I'll never wonder why a lot of girls like him, he's fairly good looking and very kind too. He said,"Alright, I guess everything's settled here huh? I'll see you later at the pool Trays."

"Right." I said, "See you later coach." I looked at Judith while I was saying all these. She's still flushed and she hadn't gone down from seventh-heaven yet, I know by the twinkle of her eye.

Before Chris went out of the room he called out, "Oh yeah, by the way Judith, I need the list of the new swimmers who got the scholarship for this semester. Thanks." Then the door closed with a thud.

When Judith and I were alone in the registrar's office, I smiled wickedly and said, "Now to fix my schedule..."

V. Brain Malfunction

My head is filled with air.

"You're eating way too much cotton candies Tracy."

My head is filled with air.

"How can you manage chewing a gum and drinking coffee at the same time?"

My head is filled with air.

"Tracy! Wipe your nose! You got an awful lot of frap on it. TRAACCCYY!!"

I think I heard someone call my name. Unfortunately, it was a girl's voice.
If it would be a male voice, I would have scrammed out of my seat and ran to nowhere.
I just couldn't face him.
I couldn't.

"Tracy is insane, help me Andrew!"

This is bad. No, worse. I couldn't understand a single thing about Math now. This is much more worse than Ms. Smith's Halloween look.

"Stuff cheese in her mouth Shay, that would bring her sanity back." Andrew said laughing.

"It didn't work, I even stuffed my huge cheese pizza."

"OMG, she ate that?" Andrew's voice sounded really serious.

I noticed the panic in Shay's voice, "Yep, she ate it all."

Andrew slapped his palm in his face, "She'll get a tummy ache in less than a few minutes."

"No doubt about that Andrew."

It's like a magic word, finally, it had an effect on me. I looked at them strikingly, shimmers of panic glinted in my eyes. "I...Did..Did I just ate these?" I asked pointing at huge wrappers in front of me.

"Yes..Yes you did."

I covered my mouth as I started getting dizzy. Cheese reacts poorly in my system. The chair tumbled down as I stood up while holding my tummy like it was about to fall.

"How could you Shay?!"

I ran out of the school cafeteria and headed towards the ladies washroom, I could feel that evil cheese boiling in my throat. I need to throw them up, or I would be doomed to stay in the comfort room for the rest of the day. I would probably be reading Batman comics just like what I did before when I had accidentally ate a lasagna filled with mozzarella underneath.
That experience is hell. I would never want that to happen again. I found amusement in reading funny vandalism on the door and on the walls though.

I saw the female board sign hanging at the end of the hallway. The scent of tissue paper and strawberry hand soap took some of the pricks of pain away.

"Good Afternoon Ms. Deal."

I stopped halfway near the washroom. That voice sounded familiar. Yep, I truly hate this scary familiarity. My tummy churned some more, this is not the right time to talk about my failing grades, I do wish it's just all about the grades, but I doubt that. I do.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and said coarsely, "Please excuse me for..ugh..a moment."

Then I went back to running towards the washroom, it's too late, I couldn't puke it all out. My hurting tummy just said so.

"Wait!" I heard him call out, but there's no way I would go back there.

I just got the nicest idea of all, I would drop his subject. He's such a pain in my eyes. I couldn't even write my name correctly on my write-up. You wouldn't believe that I wrote there Suzy Deal.

I am so dead.

IV. Classroom Rendezvous

I doubt I'll ever see him again. Three weeks had passed, I had regained my new ID, went back to my old ways and most of all, my ankle had healed. Every day when I ride the train, I try and look for a blond guy with the warmest gray eyes of all. I have seen hundreds of yellow headed people, but no one matched his eyes. I couldn't compare his striking eyes to anybody but I really shouldn't be thinking about him or his eyes now. I just know I wouldn't see him anymore. I'm still paranoid about trains but I'm careful now, I had learned to squeeze in myself inside stuffy trains so I won't be hurt again. Anyway, I rarely ride in rush hour now.

As soon as I arrived in front of the large metal gates of my university, I heard someone call behind me.

"Tracy!"

"Oh hi there Shay." I said in a low tone, I bet she hadn't heard me. We've been friends for 2 months now and I think she knows me better than I know myself. She's really nosy and meddlesome, good thing it's not in an annoying way.

"What's with the super unenergetic tone?" She said catching up with me.

"You already answered your own question." I said smiling a little.

"Oh yeah, unenergetic. Is there such a word as that?" She put her arms in my shoulders and winked.

"You just invented it, I bet it'll be put in the dictionary anytime soon." I said in a sarcastic tone.

"So, how was your weekend? Still thinking about the train guy who stole a kiss from you?" She laughed and rubbed my undone hair.

"No. I'm not thinking about him anymore." I said as I chewed hard on my mint gum, covered my mouth and smelled my own breath.

"Creep. Why do you always do that?"

"Do what?"

"Smelling your minty mouth? And when did you learn to chew gums? I thought you hated the sugar content?" She said while she dragged my arm, we're obviously late for class.

"This one's sugar free."

We entered our classroom in surprise because it's all in shambles. Trash littered around and our classmates sat on their desks chatting noisily.

"I wonder where Ms. Smith is. She has never ever been so late in all her life." Shay said as she threw her bag on her desk while I did the same.

Just then the guidance counselor walked inside, unfortunately ducking from a crumpled piece of paper that should've hit his head. My classmates now scooted like ants and sat on their chairs.
Mr. Cruz looked as pissed as ever, well, he actually looks the same every single day. I always thought that with every smirk he made, one hair falls off from his soon to be bald head.

He smirked, a hair fell, then he said in his loud screeching voice, "Ms. Smith is taking her leave for three months. The next time she'll be back in this class is next semester."

My classmates cheered and exchanged high fives. I bet you already know what kind of teacher Ms. Smith is, no need to elaborate on her further.

"Silence!" It's too late to cover my ears, I really hate that high pitched voice, I thought my ear drums had exploded. We all silenced up, then he continued, "We had hired a temporary teacher to replace Ms. Smith."

I wish I had dropped Algebra, I know that they'll replace her with another woman who's much more bigger and one equipped with a wider mouth who speaks of tangents and cosines and..

"Mr. Acosta, please come inside now."

..and she'll give me extremely low grades just like before even though I know I had been studying really well and passed my exams and..

A tall guy walked in our classroom carrying a black leather sling bag wrapped around his shoulders. He's wearing a smile over his clear well chiseled face, and I bet he's just three years older than us. You wouldn't think that he's a teacher on the way he looks. He's wearing a white striped polo shirt, blue tattered levi's and clean white sneakers.

I think I would have a sudden heart attack when he and I locked eyes. His eyes twinkled in an instant when he had met mine and I saw a smile form in the corner of his mouth. I thought I would never see that warm, pretty gray eyes again, but then I'm wrong as always.

III. Heading home

I didn't have time to react. By the tight grasp of his hand on my arm, I thought he'll drag me until we reach my home. I could imagine my bleeding nose because most likely, I would drop in the concrete pavement head first. My crazy imagination was cut off when he lifted me in his arms and buried my face in his shoulders.

"Don't move because you're darn heavy."

My ears fidgeted and I looked at him sourly. "I am not heav-" My statement was cut off when I saw him pout his lips as he said, "I don't want any arguments now young lady."

"I just want to tell you I-"

"Shhh. Hush now." He said softly as he laid back my head on his shoulder.

Being carried around by a total complete stranger is as awkward as eating cat food heated up in the microwave. I don't know what to do but follow him and smell the mint gum on his mouth that is totally out of my control. What can I do? My nose is just inches away from his chewing mouth and though I don't like his facial hair brushing against my forehead, I like the minty smell.

"First off, what's your name?"

I shouldn't trust him. Being 19 years old, alone and new in the big city justifies the fact that I'm vulnerable and easily tricked. What if he is like those guys I watch on TV? Those guys that take girls inside ice cream trucks and grind them in their ice cream machine with all the ice cream ingredients and sell them for a lot of money. Ugh. My stomach churned and knotted, I think I'm going to puke in his black spotless hoodie.

"If you don't want to tell me your name, I'll call you Suzy."

The thought of grinding human flesh still lingered in my head, I could feel my breakfast welling in my throat. I purposely leaned closer to his mouth so I could smell mint, that way, my dizziness would go away.

"Suzy is the name of my dog...what, what are you doing?"

Perfect, he talked coarsely. The minty odor is powerful, my brain stopped processing gore thoughts and it was exchanged with... Oh no, what's this feeling?

He was looking down at me with those big brown eyes, he's so close I could feel his breath on my chin. He stopped walking and I felt him brush his lips softly in mine.
My chest drummed and my legs jerked, he too is as surprised as me. There's no question about that because he dropped me, I slid down from his grasp and landed hard on my buttocks.

"Owh!" I let out a sigh of pain while he stood there, looking as dazed as ever.

I gripped his khaki pants and forced myself to stand, he finally noticed me and picked me up instantly. The surprise is still showing in his face while I was standing in front of him, my face flushed with embarrassment.

"I uh, I didn't, I-I, I am.." He looked really confused, if I didn't feel the same confusion, I would have probably laughed out loud because a strong looking man like him doesn't fit to act like a shy guy. I had ugly mixed emotions, it would be better if I feel numb. My ankle is still hurting like hell, good thing he noticed the pain showing in my eyes because he carried me again back to his strong arms. Although he didn't offer me his shoulder anymore.

My neck was stiff when we finally reached the side of the highway. I am still in a darn emotional breakdown because I feel so embarrassed and mad at the same time. Plus the pain on my foot made things worse as ever. He hailed a cab, attempted to open the door while I'm in his arms, groaned when he wasn't able to, kicked the side of the cab and cursed.
I opened the door for him, he used his left foot to widen the opening and tried hard on positioning me on the back of the car. My head bumped on the side of the door, he changed his stance and then my dangling feet hit the window instead.

"Damn." He said gritting his teeth. I had felt too much pain now I wanted to pass out and just think all of this as a nightmare and that when I finally wake up, all of these things had never happened. The yellow car honked loudly which made me realize that this is all so true. This is frighteningly true.

"Put me down." I croaked.

He didn't put me down and attempted to dump me again inside the car by himself. My head hit the top of the car again before he had successfully put me down the cold leather seat. He slammed the door close, and then talked to the driver.

"Take this girl home, just ask her where." I saw him take out his wallet, I tried to protest but it was too late, he gave the driver payment for my fare.
He smiled at me and mouthed the words, I'm sorry.

I just looked at him, I don't know what to say. The car rushed and drove away, funny but I looked on the rear window and waved.

II. Do talk to Strangers (sometimes)

He looked at me intently as if waiting for me to say anything. I just stood there though, thinking about how I would make a turnabout from my already failed day. While he's waiting a reply from my stunned self, I made a wild guess that he's a year or two older than me and probably he's also a university student by the way his hair is fixed. His short blond hair is shining like a merry christmas tree with the light bulbs turned off, filled with drops of white snow and it glints under the blinding light above. (:P) He wears a crisp, neat and musk smelling white shirt under a vintage black hooded jacket which looks really cool though its old. I realized that my neck is already hurting from looking up to him too much. I saw the funny look in his face when he tried hard to raise an eyebrow on me, but sadly, it didn't work. He let out a sigh of utter disappointment and pursed his lips instead.

"Are you done staring at me?" He said in an exasperated voice.

"No." I said absent-mindlessly and suddenly looked at the other way. Biting my lip, I cursed at myself for saying my thoughts out loud.

"You're not supposed to be on this stop, are you?"

"No."

"I was supposed to be on that train but you suddenly went flying out of nowhere and ruined all my chance of being in my class on time." He said moving near the edge of the deep rail and looked sideways, anticipating the sound of the next train.

I suddenly thought about the situation I'm in, I too, is deprived of all chances of being on time. Most of all, I fairly know I wouldn't be accepted in class in the next three days or until I have finished my application for a new ID, I sighed and checked if my stuffs are all intact. I was half expecting my wallet to be lost, good thing it's still inside or I'll probably pretend to pass out for a free ride, even if it's toward the hospital. Speaking of meticulous Doctors who wear undeniably white uniforms, I guess I badly need to see one anyway.

"Can you walk?"

"I may be sprained but my legs are as strong as my will." I said in a gruff pompous tone.

"Ooh, I doubt that miss." He let go of my shoulders and started walking away towards the opposite direction. I stood there on my left leg, wavering. I thought that he'll wait for the other train to arrive and help me ride but, oh well. I just know that there's no such thing as real gentlemen. Balancing myself with my single functional leg while the other tried tipping the ground little by little, I heard him call out, "Let's see how far your will could take you."

Now I truly hate that arrogant man. "My will could take me home!" I called out and walked limply away from him. I finally reached a bare wall after my exhausting 7-step trip and leaned on it. When I looked on his direction, he's no longer in sight.

I was hoping I could find a seat nearby but there's none, I wanted to check how bad my sprain is. I remembered it was twisted a little because of my stupid attempt to hold on to that door my feet got stuck instead. I safely leaned my weight on the wall while I tried to remove my shoes, pricks of pain surprised me but what concerned me most is it's dull, violet appearance. I never had a bruise as big as this, I should really pay attention to everything next time. But the thought of losing my passport towards earning my allowance scares me. The thought of capturing another picture when I had my most alluring look on that one and the long hours of processing the papers scares me the most. I probably scared the child in front of me with my frown because he cried and hid behind his mommy.

I heard the sound of the coming train, people swarmed closer towards where the doors would stop while I tried my best to walk normally despite the pain. I need to go in there first, I don't want to stand in front of the door again. If I would be the last person to enter, the same things would happen again due to my clumsiness and my situation right now. I desperately tried to walk fast and tripped. I had hit my knee but I was determined to go home and crash in my soft warm bed. The train finally arrived and the doors opened wide, I felt the sudden gush of cool air from the inside. I felt tears well my eyes as people came in causing it to be as jam packed as before while I barely reached the middle of my short awful expedition.

To my horror, the doors closed with a thud. I tearfully watched the train move away slowly until it was out of sight. It felt like the world is closing in on me when I felt someone tug me by the arm.

"If your will can't take you home, I will."

I. Caught by a Stranger

One-fourth of my day is all about school and the long hours of travel time. My cousin, Ken filled the iPod with rock music, I kept on skipping every song I'm afraid that the blue shuffle won't hold on any longer with my constant oppression until I find the music I want. I'm unlucky to ride the train on rush hour, I have to squeeze in myself and find a position that would avoid giving myself cramps when I finally get off 15 minutes from now. I felt sorry for myself because I have to lean near the door enduring squirms behind me. The bell rang signaling for another stop, just two more and I'll be off that stuffy cart. The door opened with a loud warning I didn't even notice, screw my blasted card because it fell off I had to reach for it in between hundreds of shoes, scared that one might step on my small blanched fingers.

My hip is leaning on the door, I need it for support or else I'd be swimming below shoes as I reach for that old shimmering ID. Oblivious of the noise and the warning around me, the door opened automatically causing me to fall backwards, towards the people prepared enough to battle and rush in inside while the other crowd pushed their way past me, out of the train. My body doesn't know where to go, I haven't grabbed my ID yet and that's my current problem. I was supposed to fall outside but was again pushed back because of the swarm of people going inside. I saw my ID stepped on by what seemed to me a hundred different kinds of shoes. There are nice leather shoes, while the others are already worn out, there are colorful rubber shoes, sexy looking stilettos with hurting and swollen feet inside. I heard somebody say before that it's better to feel good on the inside than look good but hurting. I just don't know if it's really meant for sharp 3-inch stilettos or another aspect about physical beauty. Nevertheless, I don't care.

Surprisingly, just before the door was closed, there's this guy who looked like he just woke up and I saw the panic in his eyes. He stood up from his seat while others pushed each other to regain this lucky vacancy. He pushed his way past irritated people while he was given annoyed stares. I now heard the warning bell, a sign that the door was about to close. He pushed his way aggressively while I was there in front of the door, leaning forward, trying hard to pick up my vindicated ID. His panicked eyes met mine, he isn't going to stop and I was blocking his path. I knew right then and there that I would die and would be sent to heaven even before I'll have every chance of regaining back my not so prized possession but still equally important. He pushed me back outside, I'm sure he didn't really mean to do that, I understand that he's late and he needs to get off this stop. I just don't understand why such unfortunate events happen to me. I would be gladly pushed outside, if and only I have my card back to me but to add up the worse events, I left it stomped under a large leather shoe.

I went flying outside the door, I heard gasps inside the train but wasn't able to hear more because the door closed just before I landed on my back. I landed on a mixed soft and hard surface followed by a male grunt. I felt soft cloth underneath my elbows and nape. The big evil guy that pushed me was no longer in sight, he ran away like a scared dog, afraid of a more evil boss.

I felt bones and moving legs, I felt upper limbs moving and closing in front of me. I felt warm air on my hair, panic registered all at once when I finally felt someone behind me.

"Do you have plans on getting up, or you broke your feet and can't do it?"

A male irritated voice said at the top of my head, I could feel his breath on my forehead. I could see the sign above me, still two stops before I reach my destination. I'm thrown away in the wrong stop and I've lost my ID, now I can't even go inside the University. He didn't wait for me, the bastard was an impatient but a gentle one, he stood up while holding me in the waist allowing me to stand when he did. He's right, I sprained my ankle. I fell back on his chest while he steadied me with one hand on my shoulders. He looked at his left side, staring at the horizon, watching the train disappear in thin air.

"I'm late." The guy sighed. I rarely hear guys sigh.

Emotions suddenly went back to me, I suddenly felt pain, loss and scorn. I turned around and saw the flashy gray eyes of the guy that looked really kind even when pissed.